I am furious right now. Tonight I was in Walmart (Warrenton for you Missouri people) at the customer service counter and Annalise started to fuss, but by the time I was done at the counter, she was really howlilng – she needed to eat. Corinne was elsewhere and the baby gates I had bought wouldn’t fit in the cart and I couldn’t carry them plus push the cart that had Benjamin and Annalise in it, so I called her cell and told her to come up there and help me, and while I was waiting for her I sat on the bench in the customer service department to feed Annalise.
I was wearing a short sleeved top, plus a nursing tank underneath of that. For anyone who doesn’t know what that is, it is a tank top with slits up top to get easy access when your baby needs to eat – the point of it is that when you are nursing, your stomach isn’t all exposed – the tank stays down and your top shirt goes up. So for one thing, my stomach was not all hanging out but was covered by the tank top, for another, the baby’s head blocks most of the boob, and lastly, what little bit of boob that was exposed, is certainly less than lots of women routinely show in low cut tops.
Now picture the set up of the customer service department. If you are standing in front of the entrance facing the workers, to the right it is all open, but to the left there is the bench I was sitting on, whcih has a wall behind it that blocks the view from the cash registers to this bench. So no one checking out could see me. Anyone who was there in the customer service department wouldn’t have seen me if they were facing the workers; however if they were turned around backwards facing the registers, and were looking off in the corner, could have seen me (I did not notice anyone doing this). The only people that could have seen me directly were the two female workers, and they were far enough away that I sincerely doubt they could have even seen any skin at all because the baby’s head blocks most of it, plus I cover up with the top shirt as best I can anyway.
So I’m sitting there nursing Annalise and telling Corinne to put the baby gates in her cart so that I can get the babies out of the store, and a Walmart worker comes up to me and says, “Excuse me ma’am, but can I help you get to a more private place like a restroom?” I was immediately furious, because I was most certainly not sitting there with my boob hanging out, and I didn’t even have any stomach showing. The baby was actively nursing and covering up most of me, and I was in the customer service department in the corner where hardly anyone could see! So I said to her very assertively, “You are violating my civil rights. I am allowed to breast feed my child anywhere.” She said, “Even out in the open like this?” Now I was REALLY mad, because I was not “out in the open” for pete’s sake – I was in the corner, wearing a nursing tank top, being as discreet as possible, not walking around the store with my boob hanging out! When I get mad like that, the less said the better – I can really go on a roll. So I just said, “Again, you are violating my civil rights. I am allowed to feed my baby ANYWHERE. Call a lawyer and ask.” At that point she backed off and left without another word.
Now, I could easily have left it alone there, but I didn’t. I am tired of people’s opinions on nursing when they’re not educated on the subject – I’ve got some family members who think Benjamin is too old to still be nursing. He’s barely 12 months which to me is definitely still a baby, he only nurses once, occasionally twice a day… I don’t see the problem. But whatever.
In my humble opinon, people need to know the facts to get over this ridiculous misconception that women should go hide away when they’re nursing their babies. The reason people get so up in arms about this is that they are looking at it as a sexual thing – obviously they forget that the design of a woman’s body is specifically to feed her baby in this manner! This is the NATURAL way to do it, there’s nothing to be ashamed of! Not that women should go around topless just because they’re nursing their babies of course… but when there’s less skin showing than you would see on a low cut top or a bikini – which you see on magazine covers right there in the Walmart!!! – what is the problem???
I live half an hour from this Walmart, and I stewed over this the whole ride home. So when I got home I called Walmart and asked if that worker was still there and was told yes, so I asked for a fax number to send her something. I was sent to the customer service department, and when I again explained who I was and asked for the fax number, for some ridiculous reason they put that worker on the phone. She said, “I wasn’t trying to insult you” and I said “You know what, I WAS insulted. You asked me to go to the restroom. Do you eat your dinner sitting on a toilet? I’m not feeding my baby from one!” She denied suggesting the restroom, but she most certainly did so suggest it and Corinne confirmed it. I just said to her, “Look, I just want to send you a fax. Will you give me the number?” and she did. This is what I sent:
I am the woman who was breastfeeding my newborn tonight on the bench in the customer service department whom you asked to relocate “to a more private place such as the restroom.” I would like to provide you with some education about breastfeeding. Please be advised that it is legal in every state in this country to breastfeed your baby in public. I am attaching a copy of Missouri Revised Statute 191.918 for your information. I am also attaching an article about breastfeeding and civil rights.
I am baffled as to why you felt the need to ask me to relocate. Firstly, I was wearing a nursing tank top underneath my shirt, so that when I pulled up my over shirt to give my baby access to eat, my stomach was still covered up – it is not as if I had a great deal of my abdomen exposed. Secondly, very little of my breast was visible outside of my shirt, and the baby was actively nursing – nothing “indecent” such as my nipple was exposed. I was not sitting there half naked by any means. There was less breast exposed while I was nursing than you would see in many low cut tops which some women wear in your store every day, and I sincerely doubt that you approach them and ask them to go somewhere more private or to cover up. Thirdly, I was on the bench in the customer service area, which is not “out in the open” as you suggested. The bench is located such that there is a wall behind it so that it is not visible from the cash registers, and even your customers in line at the customer service department would not see me unless they were turned around facing away from your customer service representatives and looking at the cash registers. Your customer service representatives are the only people who would have me in their direct line of vision.
I am quite offended that you asked me to relocate “to a more private place such as the restroom.” Would you eat your dinner sitting on the toilet? I certainly will not feed my 2 week old baby while sitting on one.
Sincerely,
Carolyn Gerding
The fax went through and I have heard nothing more. Tomorrow when I am not so sleepy I am going to write a letter to the manager suggesting he educates his workers. Not that I have any interest in doing so, but I could sue that store for violating my civil rights.
What I sent her was the statute langauge which reads “191.918. Notwithstanding any other provision of law to the contrary, a mother may, with as much discretion as possible, breast-feed her child in any public or private location where the mother is otherwise authorized to be.” and a printout of this article on breastfeeding and civil rights. http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/997/context/archive
I’ll write again and post the letter to the manager and any response I might get. When I was looking that up I saw a term I hadn’t seen before – “lactivist” which means an activist for lactating moms. I guess I can fit into that category because I’m pretty passionate about the rights of moms to feed thier babies wherever and for how long they want to and I will surely not let anyone try to tell me I shouldn’t be feeding my baby!
